So I just had this moment today because I really really really have a difficult time at work. It’s very chaotic, my workload is horrible, I’ve gone in and out of panic attacks this year because of the stress..it’s not easy. And today I was just thinking, you know, I know all of those things are true here but maybe it’s me. Maybe I wouldn’t need a new job if I was a new me. If I focused more on being thankful for having a job, and being able to overcome the hard days here, instead of being filled with dread every morning that I have to come.
It definitely has to be a God thing because those words are not something I would confess on my own. I go through periods of not hating being here as much but for the most part it is my biggest challenge right now. To be here. To not like being here. To stay here because a new door has not opened.
Definitely not a fun season in my life but maybe it’s also necessary. Maybe I’m more stubborn than I think and changes internally need to happen before I’m ready to move on. Before that door will open.
Just some thoughts on this unacceptably cold morning.