Today I am tired. I got home at 1:30 am and I woke up at 8. I don’t do well on this amount of sleep. I didn’t shower. I didn’t put on makeup. I didn’t brush my hair. I am literally just here doing what is physically possible to get through my work day. And yet I am happy for some reason. Could be delirium but I’ll take it!
This verse spoke to me today because towards the end of my trip I was starting to flashback to a situation in my past–particularly a relationship that my friend brought up. I’m good with not talking about it. I know I’m not 100% healed from it, but I’m good most of the time. Long story short it made me cry two nights ago and it was totally disappointing that there were any emotions of a sad nature left in me. When does THAT end?
In spite of that this verse is a promise straight from my Father to me, His beloved daughter. He promises to rescue and protect me. He promises to always answer me. In the night and in the moment of sadness and memory He was there. Much to my disgust He was there prompting me to pray for my ex, to command my sadness to disappear, to be able to rest and not allow the Enemy to pick at my heart’s scabs. And the strangest thing happened. As soon as a finished praying for my ex within seconds my eyes stopped tearing. It was like the valve was abruptly turned off. I’ve never had something happen THAT quickly.
What might sometimes seem like an attack or a back-slide into a past you thought you were done sinking through is actually an opportunity to surprise Satan. He knows my hurts. He knows my tender heart and He loves an opportunity to poke the wound. As much as I didn’t want to pray for my ex, or to have tears for those hurts, I knew God wanted me to. And instead of hesitating I heard that command and prayed it. Out loud. In the dark. Alone.
Sometimes I imagine that Satan sees us in our low points and sends special demons to whisper torments in our ear. I can specifically remember one time in my bed back at home months ago where I literally felt a presence laying next to me. I was overcome with sadness and memories and while the supernatural is still suspicious to me at times because of how people in Christianity can warp it and misrepresent it, I know that what happened to me was real.
In that moment I think I surprised Satan and his buddies because I did what I didn’t want to do in that moment. I prayed for the person who was bringing up that hurt.
Today I pray that if the Enemy is trying to pick at your wounds that you surprise Him. One day none of these painful memories or tears will be there. Nothing can hurt us in the arms of God in Heaven. But for now it’s important to fight back. It’s important to remember that while the hurts are seething within us that we can do the unexpected and that response will be our rescue. We just have to hear it and respond.
Photo Credit: Found on artsymumof5.tumblr.com