I haven’t read for pleasure in a while. On June 28th I decided to purchase the Divergent series on my Kindle. I loved the first two books–I thought they were beautifully written and real. All of the characters were well done and the plot was great. Just yesterday I finished the last book, Allegiant, and was totally heartbroken–I don’t remember ever breaking down and crying with any book I’ve ever read but with this one I was totally depressed. Now, I’m not always the person who needs a happy ending. It’s nice when it happens but I can cope when it doesn’t. It was more of the fact that it seemed pointless. After everything that happened before this sacrifice of a character in the book and after it none of the characters seemed happy with it and the ending was too bitter to even really be bittersweet. Although some may argue it was for “the greater good” of the society in the book it didn’t really seem like it transformed anything. The end did not justify the means.
I am aware that this is just a book. But even today preparing for my work week, dopey after having trouble sleeping, I still have this weight in my heart over it. I feel foolish for it to be honest, but it would be pointless to deny how sad this book made me. I even texted a friend of mine to ask for prayer over my heart. I do not want to allow something fictional to upset me so much.
I think I might actually do a three part post about the book series if I can’t shake this feeling. Maybe it surfaced in me conversations that need to be had. Who knows? But all’s I can say for now is that I feel unrest. Total unrest over how the story ended. It didn’t feel right.
I think part of this is because as Christians we like redemption. Jesus might have died, his disciples may have been murdered, and today people fight to defend their faith–but we know this isn’t the end. Jesus rose from the grave. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. But I feel like nowadays–whether it be tv or film or in books there is often a desire to be depressing. There are certain movies for example that I’ve regretted watching, because they leave you heavy. I’m not saying we only need to watch/read stories about bubblegum and ponies but I think only focusing on the bad is the wrong approach as well.
In that way this book ripped apart that redemption story. There was sacrifice but there wasn’t redemption. Time seemed to go on and nothing looked restored. No one seemed healed. Nothing seemed to be better for it.
All of this to say when I saw this quote it reminded me that maybe my feelings aren’t as silly as I sometimes feel they are. Why as a child did I care to make leaf homes for caterpillars and why now do I care about the death of a fictional character? Right? I don’t know. Sometimes my feelings can be strange even to myself. But Dr. Seuss reminded me that someone has to care. Sometimes we can just accept the bad or fill our hearts and minds with sad stories and chalk it up to life–that’s how life is. But to me, that’s not right. Life is more than that. We were made to be more than that. We were made to desire more than what the world tells us is an appropriate ending.
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