I had a hard day yesterday. I’m doing very well at my new job but there are certain tasks I am just not naturally gifted at. For example–part of my job entails using a program to make an interactive ad. The basics I have down but then there are ones that come across to me like puzzles or worse—like math. Haha. My brain just isn’t logical like that. And yet I keep being asked to work on them. I’ve been reminded during this time that I am not patient. I am not good with persistence when I don’t see success at the end. Ouch.
If anything that makes me feel kind of guilty. Am I really that shallow that unless I’m good at something I don’t want to do it? I don’t think that’s just a me thing–I think that’s pretty human. Why would you really want to struggle and feel incapable of something? Right? It doesn’t feel good. It makes you feel stupid. And yet I am certain God wants me here. And yesterday I found myself pushed way beyond my comfort zone. Granted it was escalated because a couple of co-workers laughed at my struggling and I felt kind of defensive and ashamed, but I don’t want to be that way. If God has me here, if God brought me here, then God and only God will equip me.
Some reminders for when I am weary:
Hebrews 13:21 (MSG)
18-21 Pray for us. We have no doubts about what we’re doing or why, but it’s hard going and we need your prayers. All we care about is living well before God. Pray that we may be together soon.
May God, who puts all things together,
makes all things whole,
Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus,
the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant,
Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd,
up and alive from the dead,
Now put you together, provide you
with everything you need to please him,
Make us into what gives him most pleasure,
by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah.
All glory to Jesus forever and always!
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 (MSG)
11-12 Because we know that this extraordinary day is just ahead, we pray for you all the time—pray that our God will make you fit for what he’s called you to be, pray that he’ll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something. If your life honors the name of Jesus, he will honor you. Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus Christ, giving himself freely.
So today Father I need Your wisdom. You created all things and You have understanding of all things. Please expand my mind to understand the tasks at work that I am having trouble understanding. I often find myself struggling and it is easy to feel inferior and stupid when I cannot grasp it all. I know that You are with me always. I know that You hear me always. I ask for your wisdom and peace and that you will “make me fit for what You have called me to be” in this place. Amen.
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