Tonight I am tired. Exhausted. I don’t feel well. I feel frustrated with someone at work. I’m just all in all in a bad mood. It’s easy to let one bad emotion give way to a flood of other emotions. Tonight this simple quote reminds me that no matter how I feel–luckily God knows where it all leads. There is good ahead. In spite of the frustrations and exhaustion there is good ahead.
Psalm 56 MSG
1-4 Take my side, God—I’m getting kicked around,
stomped on every day.
Not a day goes by
but somebody beats me up;
They make it their duty
to beat me up.
When I get really afraid
I come to you in trust.
I’m proud to praise God;
fearless now, I trust in God.
What can mere mortals do?
5-6 They don’t let up—
they smear my reputation
and huddle to plot my collapse.
They gang up,
sneak together through the alleys
To take me by surprise,
wait their chance to get me.
7 Pay them back in evil!
Get angry, God!
Down with these people!
8 You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book.
9 If my enemies run away,
turn tail when I yell at them,
Then I’ll know
that God is on my side.
10-11 I’m proud to praise God,
proud to praise God.
Fearless now, I trust in God;
what can mere mortals do to me?
12-13 God, you did everything you promised,
and I’m thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.
Now I stroll at leisure with God
in the sunlit fields of life.
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Today I feel sick. Just run down. I’m actually going to bed and it’s not even 9 pm. I like this simple thought that I can find refuge in His wings. My body may be weak but He is strong. He will watch over me as I rest. It is a comfort to remind yourself of such simple truths.
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Today has been a strange day. I woke up to volunteer for church early this morning and as I was straightening my hair I was thought-praying. The two things that were on my mind: my neck and my mom’s knee.
Several years ago, I was going to the chiropractor for adjustments. At the time I was working retail and on my feet a lot which would put a lot of tension on my neck and lower back. I had found out after an X-ray that the reason I had so much tension in my neck is because most people have a natural curve and mine doesn’t. I don’t know if I was born this way or what the reason really is. So I was pray-thinking about how cool it would be if God healed that. I was also thinking about my mom’s knee which is bone-on-bone. She doesn’t have cartilage left. She often says how God could grow her some if He really wanted. I don’t know why I was thinking about these things but all I remember is that instantly I felt like I was going to pass out. To the point where everything around me became pixelated. I immediately needed to lay down.
I don’t know if I’m just getting sick, or if it was some kind of Holy Spirit thing.
On and off I’ve just felt weird about the whole thing today. I’ve mentioned why before–sometimes because of “weird Christians” you become skeptical of anything supernatural. So often you see things like that abused. There’s definitely false prophets out there and people who fake moves of the Spirit for profit and for most of my life I’ve taken that sort of thing with a grain of salt. It’s not that I don’t believe it could happen, but sometimes I wonder what the point of it is. I fully believe God can heal but some of the things you see on TV or online where people are shaking like they are being electrocuted or laughing uncontrollably freaks me out. It looks like a scary movie. It looks demonic. It doesn’t look like how God would operate because to me God is gentle.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? I can totally see where the presence of God and His power on you can be too much for your body to handle and you might feel dizzy or faint or feel a surge of energy. But I can’t really find anything in the Bible about this.
Also during a promotional video for the A21 campaign, an organization fighting sex trafficking, I got the words “my daughter is here”. Now, I don’t know if God was merely telling me, His daughters are there. His children are there..and therefore our church backing this organization is a God thing because we are setting these people free by supporting the efforts there. Or if God was saying literally…my future daughter is there. Like in the future, I will adopt a girl from there. Out of sex trafficking in a literal way. Or if God was simply saying to me and over me during church that His daughter, me, was there.
I am a huge fan of these new ways God is speaking to me, but especially with the fainting incident I want a little context and would be 100% open for someone’s personal experience or Biblical counsel on it.
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Today I worked on a project for a famous movie company. Just working on something of that caliber with my limited experience was a huge deal. Having my manager trust me to do it was a big compliment. I remember not too long ago feeling overwhelmed and stupid even at work and praying for wisdom. I remember sharing those feelings with you all here on my blog too. And now here I am, right? It doesn’t seem like very long.
To top it all off tonight the owner of a celebrity news website gave me feedback on the ad for his page. I literally laughed when I saw his name thrown out in my e-mail tonight.
This is not to brag. This is simple amazement. In this job——skill wise——I am no expert. I am learning but I am not anything special compared to the people who trained professionally for this. I know I have my own special and unique work skills and personality traits that build the company but I find it absolutely WILD that Jesus not only answered my prayer for wisdom but made me feel like a big deal today. I worked on something important and I talked to someone who by the world’s standards is important. And as if that wasn’t enough–I am still unqualified by the world’s standards to be in this position at all.
I share this to encourage you that no matter what you face or what you dream–God can put you wherever He wants whether you are good enough, or talented enough, or qualified enough. BECAUSE. HE. CAN. He’s that Good.
Matthew 5 says in part:
” If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”
He didn’t put you on Earth to hide you. He’s decorating His kingdom with you. He’s like the universe–endless and expansive and He plucks you from Earth to have you shine like one of the many stars in the sky. He’s going to make sure you shine. And He’s going to make sure people see.
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This week I’ve gotten a few different messages from friends–one’s mom lost a job, another was having anxiety, and the last was going to rehab for an eating disorder. Sometimes it can seem daunting to be surrounded by problems and have no solutions for people. But ultimately we can always remind them that God is in control. He withholds no good thing.
At the end of Psalm 84 MSG it says:
“All sunshine and sovereign is God,
generous in gifts and glory.
He doesn’t scrimp with his traveling companions.
It’s smooth sailing all the way with God-of-the-Angel-Armies.”
Meaning. God is not making things go South for you. He’s not laughing maniacally at your struggles like a cruel tyrant. Instead He is generous and doesn’t hold back. If my friend’s mom lost her job–maybe God desires to get her out of complacency and into a job she always wanted but never thought she’d have. Or maybe he’s allowing her to rest. Maybe He’s reminding her that He is in control and she can just relax and stop trying to make ends meet in her own power.
For my friend with anxiety..God withholds no good thing. He is generous in His peace. He is a protector. Maybe she was used to being independent–relying on no one. And as life happens you begin to see that you really have no control over anything. Life happens and you are along for the ride sometimes. But God will anchor you. You might feel like you are in a whirlpool but He knows you won’t sink. In Matthew 11:28-30 it says:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
To sum it up. STOP WORRYING. Be anxious for nothing. Don’t be afraid. God desires to take you alongside Him and recover. He won’t run ahead of you, He wants you to learn from Him and watch closely how He does it. He is the Prince of Peace after all.
Finally for my friend. I’m assuming she’s in rehab again because I haven’t heard from her since last week but I look forward to her getting help. But I also hope during this time she remembers the true Healer is God. While therapy helps you work it out, God is the one that made us all new. In Him we can have hope of a new life. No where else. I think therapy is good to bring issues out of hiding but I know plenty of people who have gone into rehab over and over only to fail. It is a matter of the heart and the mind to me. And God, well He has authority to heal a bitter or broken heart and a mind filled with destructive thoughts. It is important to remember these things in HIs Word:
- Genesis 1:27 — You were made in the image of God.
- Psalm 8 — In the whole wonderful universe, He gives you a place of honor.
- Proverbs 31:30 — Outward appearances don’t matter as much as what’s inside.
- Zephaniah 3:17 — The God of the universe takes delight in YOU!
- Romans 5:8 — God loves you enough to send His Son to die for you.
- 1 Peter 3:3 — How you look is not what really makes you beautiful.
I’m grateful that I’m in a season where I can remind people not to worry or to question God’s goodness in the bad times. Remember who you are and even more so remember who God is. You are stronger than you think and God is greater than you might believe in the midst of hardships.
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The cool thing about being a Christian is that you are no longer bound to the mistakes you made in the past. You don’t need to rehash them or beat yourself up for them. Jesus didn’t die to cover you in His grace so that you would continue to be weighed down by shame. You are a new creation and your experiences, even bad ones, will help set others free.
2 Corinthians 5:16-20 MSG
“Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he’s already a friend with you.”
Ezekiel 16:63 MSG
“You’ll remember your past life and face the shame of it, but when I make atonement for you, make everything right after all you’ve done, it will leave you speechless.’” Decree of God, the Master.”
Isaiah 61 MSG
“The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me
because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor,
heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives,
pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion,
give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom,
a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness”
planted by God to display his glory.
They’ll rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They’ll start over on the ruined cities,
take the rubble left behind and make it new.
You’ll hire outsiders to herd your flocks
and foreigners to work your fields,
But you’ll have the title “Priests of God,”
honored as ministers of our God.
You’ll feast on the bounty of nations,
you’ll bask in their glory.
Because you got a double dose of trouble
and more than your share of contempt,
Your inheritance in the land will be doubled
and your joy go on forever.”
Isaiah 50:7 MSG
“And the Master, God, stays right there and helps me,
so I’m not disgraced.”
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