I’ve been feeling guilty for a while now about getting into the pattern of my daily inspirations and failing to write something off the grid. Nothing has really inspired me to break the pattern but a while back…maybe 1-3 months ago…I had a dream. And I thought about writing about it but I couldn’t figure out what it meant and the things I was coming across seemed really creepy and not at all what I was hoping my dream was about. So let’s cut to the chase.
I had a dream. I didn’t write it down and so I could be missing more details. But I remember I was trying to find transportation out of NYC. I’m assuming I was trying to go home which is part of my normal commute. But in this dream I was lost for some reason. There seemed to be a lot of volume regarding the people that were trying to get out and I remember seeing a large map–like a digital map either on tv or something–maybe a billboard. And you saw this big red mass sweeping across the map towards the east coast. I was going up and down escalators looking for trains or busses to take me home but a lot were full. Somehow I managed to get on either a bus or a train and I remember seeing fire–almost like lava in the way it moved–spreading around the city but also like it was following me. I specifically remember feeling like the fire was coming for me. And I woke up. I did my normal routine and tried to see online or in the bible if I could find anything and I couldn’t. One thing caught my eye and when I read it — I distinctly remember it being like hellish–like something condemning and it freaked me out so I tried to forget about it.
Then after about a month or so I was on Pinterest and I saw this picture:
It literally blew me away because in the moment I knew that’s what my dream was about. It wasn’t a bad fire. It was a God fire.
Hebrews 12:29 says “our God is a consuming fire”
Acts 2:3 says “and there appeared to them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat on each of them.”
Exodus 13:21-22 says “God went ahead of them in a Pillar of Cloud during the day to guide them on the way, and at night in a Pillar of Fire to give them light; thus they could travel both day and night. The Pillar of Cloud by day and the Pillar of Fire by night never left the people”
Fire = Holy Spirit, God’s presence, Tongues, Light/Guidance, protection
In essence the photo led me to believe that God was pursuing me and for some reason I was scared and was running away from it in the dream.
A few weeks ago I had another dream. This time I was on a kind of stage next to three other women around my age. No one talked but each one had a picket sign. I didn’t notice anything on them but when I looked at mine it was jagged at the top like it was missing a piece. Once I noticed that I was back home in the living room on the couch and I felt something on the inside of my bottom lip. When I pulled my lip down there was a glossy piece of a poster/photograph stuck to the inside of my lip. As I was pulling it off, my mom walked into the room and saw what I was doing. As soon as I freed the paper from my lip I started gushing blood and my mom got a towel to cover my mouth with. Right before I woke up I remember my mom being on the phone with a doctor asking about what was happening to me.
This one was very strange to me. Even more strange than the other one. Mainly because of the blood. I wasn’t scared of it per se. I didn’t have negative feelings but when I woke up I was probably focusing on how gross bleeding was. I also remember this faint feeling of something on my inner lip. It was comparable to when you have a band-aid on and your skin sort of feels strange once you take it off. Like that.
Anyway this one has been really difficult for me to wrap my head around. I looked on the internet a bit for the science of lips for some foundation information and this is what I came up with:
“When scientists list the top areas of the body in terms of sensitivity, the lips and fingertips are often ranked as the areas with the highest concentrations of receptor cells .
This sensitivity is also connected to the brain. The areas of the brain that receive messages from touch receptors in the lips and hands are much larger than the areas for receiving messages from less sensitive places, such as the back. More brain power is spent interpreting sensations of touch from the lips and fingers than from other areas that contain these cells .” -health.howstuffworks.com/skin-care/lip-care/…/lips-most-sensitive.htm
In short–lips collect information. They are sensitive to touch and communicate with your brain. On a basic level they are the opening to your body. They help you eat, they help you keep your mouth open and closed, and they help you form sounds. I actually tried holding my bottom lip and forming certain sounds or words and your lip struggles to move up to find your top lip. You can also convey expressions through your lips like smiling or frowning or pouting.
There are a lot of lip verses in the Bible: http://www.openbible.info/topics/lips and http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Lips
Some of them talk about what comes out of your mouth, lips being full of knowledge, lips being truthful, lips being angry, and lips being full of praise.
One that stood out to me was:
Proverbs 8:6-7“Listen, for I will speak noble things; And the opening of my lips will reveal right things. “For my mouth will utter truth; And wickedness is an abomination to my lips.- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Lips#sthash.ciYN15dx.dpuf
If I was heavily bleeding from my bottom lip in my dream could it mean that my “lips were being opened”? The opening/bleeding will reveal something? Leviticus talks about “life in the blood” and in general as Christians we know that Jesus’s blood paid for our salvation.
Overall if I look at the two dreams there was fire and there was blood. It reminds me actually of the song “Beneath the waters” by Hillsong:
I stand a new creation
Baptized in blood and fire
No fear of condemnation
By faith I’m justified
So all of this to say I think God is surrounding me with the Holy Spirit. He’s showing me in my dreams that I might be scared of what He’s planning on doing but I do not need to worry that I will burn up in His fire. I need to think of it more like how people love snuggling up by a fireplace because of the warmth and comfort it gives. It’s not like God wants to barbecue me, right? Because of Jesus’s sacrifice for me I have been made new through His blood. In God’s Refiner’s Fire I am being made new. So I actually think, much to my dismay, that this is a dream to tell me that I will be speaking in tongues. The fire in my first dream was trying to find me. It did not have time to rest upon my head like in the Bible when people began to speak in tongues because I was running from it. In the second dream everyone is holding actual signs–full signs, and mine is missing a piece. Perhaps it is a literal representation of the gift of tongues. The piece that as missing was in my mouth stuck to my lip. And when I pulled it off–a surge of blood poured out–like a spring.
I think I’ve mentioned this before–but speaking in tongues still kind of freaks me out. I believe it’s possible. I believe some people fake it, but I do know people who I trust who wouldn’t lie about it. I’m confused as to how it works. You don’t know what you’re saying after all. How do you know when it’s going to start happening? Does it only happen in prayer time and then turn off? Do you speak in tongues but think you’re speaking in English? RIGHT? There’s a lot of things I wonder about. But I think overall it’s just a control thing. I don’t want to do something I don’t understand. I don’t want to lose control. I don’t want to freak people out.
Ultimately I rest in the knowledge that God is going to do what He knows to be best in my life whether I’m ready or not. I’m confessing my dreams at long last because I think I understand them now. And I’m curious to see what other dreams He has to show me. Overall I like the idea of God being my firey wall of protection, my defense, my shield, and a means of consuming the enemy. Similar to Katniss in the Hunger Games books, God wants me to be a “girl on fire”. In the first book there is a quote that says “I want the audience to recognize you when you’re in the arena,” says Cinna dreamily. “Katniss, the girl who was on fire.” I love that as a picture of what God could be saying to me. He wants the world to recognize that the fire of God is around me, is inside me. You can’t ignore someone who is on fire. In the wilderness, God lead His people by fire in the darkness, and so I trust that He will illuminate my path even though I might not know where I am going.
What do you think about my dream? Do you think it means anything else? Post below!