Transitions

Have you ever felt like something was on its way? It feels like a combination of excitement and almost fear? Or like you are forgetting something that you wrote down on your calendar but have this funny feeling? I’ve been feeling like something is on the horizon for a little while now.

I’ve come to recognize this as a transition.

The last official time I remember this started was April 27th of this year.

For context, ever since I began volunteering at my church, I stayed planted on the same team. I grew in that team and became a leader of that team. It was something that helped me find community and purpose in church instead of just going to services and leaving. I will always be grateful for being able to create home for people coming to church and for the whole experience.

After doing this for a number of years, there were several months at the end where I felt really burned out in that capacity. I’ll even admit in darker times felt very alone and bitter serving. But there was this feeling of responsibility and obligation. I didn’t want to give up. I didn’t want to lose my “security” and the place I thought I found to contribute something to the church. To be a good servant for God. And yet, I knew something was changing. And I was scared that it might be me.

I worried that people would be disappointed in me, I worried that no one would care what I did any more because I wasn’t actively volunteering, I worried that I would lose my purpose and drift through Sundays. There were a lot of feelings I had. And yet, officially on April 27th I cut my rope.

It wasn’t this heroic thing. It was more like, God, I don’t feel like I have it in me to continue in this capacity any more. I’m tired. I don’t feel valued. I feel alone. And I wonder if these are just feelings from burnout or if you are changing my heart because I’ve been comfortable here, and it’s time to move on.

And I want to encourage you, in church, in your job, at school, in your relationships, whatever it might be. To realize that sometimes, comfortable isn’t a good thing. It’s ok to change. I’m not saying cut out everyone in your life and be selfish and do your own thing. But I’m saying sometimes, things are meant to be for a season. And God wants you to keep growing.

I find myself relating to Isaiah 42:16 ESV “And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.”

So here I am, embarking on some new adventures, pushing deeper into some other interests I have in church that surround women and aspects of social justice because I think God has prepared my heart for these things.

I am challenged to look up some stories again in the Bible for accounts where God took people out of their comfort zone because He wanted them to accomplish something else. Please comment below if anything comes to mind!

 

SOAP 12/20/16

Good morning!⠀


This morning I had my tea and am ready to dive into a SOAP for you guys.⠀

For those who don’t know, SOAP stands for:⠀

Scripture⠀
Observation⠀
Application⠀
Prayer⠀

Scripture: Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)

4-5 Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

Observation: God wants us to be aware of why we are here and the various responsibilities we have been given and give it our everything without being prideful or comepetitive.

Application: Instead of worrying that my blog or instagram page isn’t wildly popular or uber professional in design I can continue to write about the things that are important to me and what I feel like God has put in my heart and not get too worried about what everyone else is doing. Let everyone do what they do and I do what I do. It’s not about comparison or self-pride.

Prayer: God please keep my heart pure and healthy. Let me not disqualify myself by looking around me. I want to be fixed on You and what You think of me and what You are calling me to do.

Comment below with your O, A, or P!⠀

A Season of Anxiety – Playlist

If you have been following me for some time now, you know that I struggle with anxious thoughts and overall worry.

Something that has always helped me is worship music and this can sometimes be overlooked.

If I’m in a rush.

If I forgot my headphones at home.

But I like the idea that in the midst of a hard time you can plug into worship from your phone or your office desk.

That’s actually what I’m doing now. I’m trying to quiet my mind or worrisome heart.

Here is one I’ve started to build on Spotify: Click here

Comment below with your favorite song from this list or one that you think would be a nice addition.

SOAP 12/11/16

Good morning!⠀

This morning I had my tea and am ready to dive into a SOAP for you guys.⠀

For those who don’t know, SOAP stands for:⠀

Scripture⠀
Observation⠀
Application⠀
Prayer⠀

Scripture:  Psalm 46:8-10 MSG

Observation: God is amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever read this passage using the MSG version but this line popped out at me: “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Application: In spite of everyone panicking in America over politics, and hate, and worry, and all of that, as Christians I think this passage hits it home. We don’t have to hold everything we see in our country as the final word. God is always in control. God is a God of justice, but He always has it handled. We don’t have to fix or understand it all. We should do our part but ultimately it’s all in His hands.

Prayer: God please help us to let go of our own understanding. Our own tangled thoughts and look at you lovingly knowing You will worth it all out. Give us wisdom to know what we need to concern ourselves with and what we need to trust that You will handle.

Comment below with your O, A, or P!⠀

Be Still and Know: Be Day 1

Hi guys,

I heard about this three week study by Rebekah Lyons and I thought it was a great idea.

Basically I will share a part of the study and my thoughts but I don’t want to spoil or steal her entire email and repost it here because that would just be weird!!unnamed.png I also want you guys to feel free to follow along too!

To sign up for the emails containing the “Be Still and Know” study click here.

So today I am going to answer Rebekah’s questions so you can get a feel for how the study is, and feel comfortable to answer these questions honestly too.

  1. Is there something specific holding you back from stepping into Christ’s freedom right now? Perhaps risk, fear, doubt, or heartbreak?

Over the years I have struggled to “feel” like I’m enough so I compensate by “doing” enough. I think it will always be a sensitive area of my life that will slowly continually be purged by the Holy Spirit. However, do in part to a struggle in my 20s with anxiety and panic attacks, I think I have learned to let things go more quickly and also to give everything to God in a different way. I feel that my reliance has shifted positively to what He can help me do versus the pressure that can come with feeling like it’s all up to you.

  1. Free people free people. Is there a way you might help someone else discover Christ’s freedom?

I don’t profess to have it all figured out and I am definitely open to being used in new ways by God to help other’s discover their freedom. But speaking from my current experiences only, I have found blogging and leading studies at church very rewarding. When it comes to blogging I can get out my feelings on issues, or talk about what I’ve learned from a mistake, or a revelation I’ve had that I think people will benefit from. And in a similar way when I facilitate the Shine curriculum through my church I can help women to see their value and purpose.

SOAP 12/5/16

Good morning!⠀

This morning I had my tea and am ready to dive into a SOAP for you guys.⠀

For those who don’t know, SOAP stands for:⠀

Scripture⠀
Observation⠀
Application⠀
Prayer⠀

Scripture: Philippians 4:4-5 MSG

Observation: This scripture is a tall order. Celebrate God every day? What if you’re cranky? LOL. You know? And letting everyone you meet know that you are on their side? But what if they stole something from you? What if they…*gasp*…don’t like you to begin with?

Application: Every day on my commute to and from work I try not to miss one Monday-Friday without listening to worship music. It reminds me that no matter what, God is in control, He is moving, and He cares.

Prayer: God please help me and anyone reading this to know that you are worth celebrating. Create the kind of spirit in us that is joyous to remind our often tired, cranky, awful selves to put aside our feelings and remember who you are. Please also help us to see difficult people with your eyes and to be on their side. This isn’t a competition. Every day should be a celebration of the greatness of you and a search party for those who need a leg up or a kind word.

Comment below with your O, A, or P!⠀