I remember someone told me this once and it stuck with me: Feelings aren’t facts. As someone who relies a lot on my gut instinct and emotions. This can be a little off-putting. But I think, especially when it comes to feelings, we can allow ourselves to be beaten down by negative self-talk and the perception that we aren’t enough. Here are some quick examples that I’ve thought just in the past year:
You might feel like you’re a failure, but fact: You aren’t.
You might feel like you are ugly, but fact: You aren’t.
You might feel like you can’t do anything right, but fact: You are smarter than you think.
I was washing my face or brushing my teeth the other day, all I remember is that I was in front of the sink, and I felt like God was reminding me that there were times in my life where I didn’t think I was good enough, and so I cheated on a test here and there, or whatever the case might have been. It wasn’t from a place of shame having done those things, but more like, why do you think so little of yourself? And this is something that you’ve had to fight feeling since you were a little girl.
I still remember being in elementary school and changing one of my answers to what the kid next to me had. I thought my answer was correct, but I felt like the boy next to me was smarter. After I erased and circled the new answer, one of my teachers saw, and said after we turned them all in, I wanted to tell you that you had the right answer the first time around, trust yourself.
I’ve never forgotten that.
Unfortunately I’ve been struggling a bit more than normal the past month thinking about how my Instagram page isn’t as popular as other women in my vertical. Vertical is an advertising term. It’s when you’re in the same industry, you are appealing to the same audience, and it can often creep up on you because you feel like, why am I not as successful? Am I adding value to the market here? It can be a killer to the self-esteem and perseverance you need when you are attempting to build your dreams.
I decided to do something a little silly the other day. I’m so used to analyzing reports for clients in the advertising world and I decided to put my own worries about being “popular” or “important” to the test.
I pulled up three accounts that I felt like were really killing it when it came to my life as a Christian blogger. I looked through their profile and tried to find the lowest likes they got on average and rounded them up or down. Then I took that number and how many followers they had to see what their engagement was like and I have to say I was surprised.
- Lowest likes: 600 Followers: 26,400 = 2.27%
- Lowest likes: 650 Followers: 16,600 = 3.92%
- Lowest likes: 500 Followers: 8,400 = 5.95%
Me: On my lowest day the average “likes” are around 60.
If you take 60 and my current following of 611. 60 is 9.8% of 611.
Okay so maybe that’s a fluke right? Let’s see if I do the reverse with highest likes:
- Highest likes: 900 Followers: 26,400 = 3.41%
- Highest likes: 750 Followers: 16,600 = 4.52%
- Highest likes: 650 Followers: 8,400 = 7.73%
Me: On my highest day the average “likes” are around 100.
If you take 100 and my current following of 611. 100 is 16.37% of 611.
Like are you shocked? I’m still shocked. My feelings are still telling me: no one cares what you are writing. You’ve been doing this for years and no one seems to be following you. What’s the point when you aren’t doing as well as everyone else? Your style doesn’t seem that great. Where’s your awesome selfies? LOL. You know what I mean?
And yet, my feelings, are clearly not the facts.
I didn’t do this to make myself out to be the winner compared to these profiles that are KILLING it. I did it out of curiosity because too many times I’ve asked myself: It seems like everyone has tons of likes and followers. Am I a loser?
If you’ve ever felt the way I have and you want to reach other Christian women, let’s remind ourselves that we’re occupying our space. We matter. We’re making a difference. The people who are liking our photos and reading our captions matter.
Also just for fun, I did a bit of googling and created this graphic in Easil:
It keeps everything in perspective because there are plenty of women to reach, plenty of people to reach, in just the USA alone.
This has helped me keep any negative feelings in perspective!
Comment below so I can hear what you think!
It seems like everyone has tons of likes. Am I a loser?
How many women are Christians in the US? (The 2014 U.S. Religious Landscape Study)
How many Christians in the US? (This ABCNEWS/Beliefnet poll)
How many women are there in the US? (Census is every 10 years)