Walking On Glass

I wanted to write this down the day I awoke from this dream but it’s been very busy for me the past month and I haven’t been able to write anything I’ve wanted to! Apologies on that.

So here we go.

I haven’t had a recognizable “God dream” in a while. But I definitely think that this was one of them.

On one Monday night in March I had a very short dream. I was walking barefoot outside and sort of..taking in my surroundings and enjoying the fresh air and scenery. I was alone but in the distance I saw a small group of people I knew and sat down on a rock. I put my one leg, or rather ankle, on top of my knee, somewhat cross-legged, and saw something shimmering on the sole of my right foot. I began to inspect and realized it was a shard of glass. I pulled it out. I realized there were lots of them, some big and small, some made me bleed, some hurt, some didn’t. And then I woke up.

I reflected on a few things in the Bible and random thoughts and this is what I came up with:

  • Feet shod with the gospel
  • Pilgrimage
  • Exodus 3 barefoot because standing on Holy Ground

 

Here are some random links Google discovered for me:

I still can’t figure out exactly what I think of it, and was waiting so long to post it, but I don’t want to wait any longer. Would be cool if you had any thoughts on it. If you do, post below!

Jesscbnyc Announcement

Hey guys,

I’ve been keeping a secret since November and now it’s official! I will be contributing content for Horacio Printing !!!

For those of you who might now know, Horacio Printing makes awesome planners that help you organize your life. Sometimes life can deteriorate your plans and dreams and this planner is crucial to make sure that you are cultivating the calling and dreams in your life.

The good news is I will be blogging here and there so nothing is changing. Feel free to subscribe or keep an eye on on the Horacio Blog here.

horacio

 

Also the planner has been such a huge success that the 2016 version has already sold out!!! But I have some news. There will be a limited re-release of planners for those who missed out on the first run.

Simply go to this link and enter the promo code “preorder” for a 20% off savings!

xoxo,

Jess

Jesscbnyc Recommends: All Things New 31-Day Devotional: DAY 5

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Sometimes when your prayers are unanswered you can lose hope. If you’re like me that can easily be more than just sometimes.

I loved this devotional by Charlotte Gambill because it shows us that we all experience frustration and lost hope. My favorite line was “God took me on a journey of getting my eyes off me and on to the people I came across on the journey.”

I love that.

Some of us wonder why we are in our job, single, sick, or struggling but we can fail to remember everything has a purpose and in our journey we can encourage or empathize with those around us.

I want to be a Charlotte. I want to “find a song in my barrenness” no matter the season or circumstance.

Do do you believe? What are you going to sing about before the miracle comes?

A Genuine Thank You

I just wanted to type a big THANK YOU to all my followers. Since I started blogging two years ago I’ve grown in ways I didn’t imagine. Through a season of anxiety, a bad job, and all sorts of emotions, I’ve learned along with you all, that God can do anything. He can help me want to write again. He can prove Himself faithful through His word. He can show me that over the course of two years of posts, what I can learn from Him and share with you.

There have been a few changes along the way, and I’m thankful that you guys are still reading along. I used to do a lot more venting in the beginning. A lot more daily inspirations using pictures from Pinterest. And now I feel like God is preparing me for new things to try on the blog. I want to share with you resources I’ve found helpful, review some things you all might want to try, and most importantly share my journey and ups and downs while listening for Jesus.

Love you guys and looking forward to all the posts to come.

xo,

Jess

Hump Day

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I’ve been finding two of my co-workers challenging the past month. It seems whenever they make jokes, I am the subject and it is with a judgmental, condescending tone. I am fully aware that this could be a “guy” thing. I work with all men. However, my patience, to be honest is thin. It is in times like this that I am forced to remember what God thinks of me. That God sees my heart. That God knows my motivations and my heart and I know I am doing the right things. I have not brought this behavior on myself. I am not deserving of condescending words or mockery or anything of the sort. There are times in life where you reflect and with being honest with yourself come to realize you are at fault, but I can honestly say I’ve reflected and I know it isn’t me in this situation.

Sometimes it seems like when you are at your best, thriving, in my case at work, that the Enemy uses other people to try to make you question yourself. Luckily over the past several years I’ve gotten better at recognizing his voice and how he can make situations or people throw darts your way. Luckily over the past few years through the grace and love of God, I’ve learned to value myself more and more importantly see what God thinks and feels for me in a way I’ve never before. I love this quote because it reminds me that no matter what my limitations are, in feeling attacked, or teased, or annoyed with what is happening, I can rest in knowing my God has none. He is limitless. He is above all things. And I am grateful to be His child. In so many situations I have been exhausted, unable to make things change, have been anxious, or drained and in these moments I’ve been able to see God be God. To fill in the gap.

I just want to encourage you that no matter what hump you face on this Wednesday, this “hump day” God is always on the other side. He will get you through anything. Trust me. There were times and situations that threatened to destroy me, that I saw no solution to, that I was even at times mad at God for giving me or allowing. And in each scenario He has proven Himself faithful. He has lovingly even given me praise in my jobs, in my leadership roles, in my life despite all the times I yelled at Him or felt abandoned by Him.

Granted there are still areas I wished were different but they don’t seem as dire in the wake of all the answers He’s already given me.

Be of good cheer.

Life Happens

It’s been a hard few days. My brother who I’ve mentioned previously is schizophrenic was having a very irritable few days, my mothers side of the family has been trying to make my mother and I feel bad for going to London for a vacation and church trip we have been planning for a year, my father broke a glass bulb throwing it at my mom during a fight, it’s like really? There are times when life can seem to collapse all around you.

It’s important during these times to not allow life to drown you in drama. God is still on the throne. God is still my Father and He has great plans for me. He has great plans for you too.

I pray simply that God keep me strong and also motivated. I pray that I continue to make Him proud. I pray that this year will be better than the last. I pray that my blog will honor Him and encourage you.

Much love,

Jess

Wednesday Inspiration 12.17.14

I found myself a little discouraged the other day after a conversation with a friend. Long story short my friend confirmed in somewhat of an indirect way that someone I already suspected wasn’t a fan of me in fact doesn’t like me. Now I know we’re not always going to be someone’s cup of tea, and I don’t expect to please everyone. Sometimes without meaning to, you just rub people the wrong way. I remember Robert Ferguson saying something a few weeks ago about how Kane, one of our pastors, rubs him the wrong way because Kane is so much more jovial than him. So as you can see, that’s kind of silly, right? It’s not like Kane said something mean to Robert, or did anything serious to offend him. Sometimes people just don’t gravitate to you, and that’s okay. We all have different personalities and interests and sometimes they clash.

But it still didn’t sit well with me for some reason. I don’t need this person to be my friend, or come to my birthday, or invite me places but I guess because I’m so touchy-feely and all, I always want to make things better and to try to include everyone.

If I’m totally honest I’ve often found myself being very…judgmental about how I believe Christians should be. These aren’t bad things but mainly things like: “I don’t understand why they are excluding him/her”, “I don’t understand why this person is so stand-offish”, “I don’t understand why that person looks down on that other person”, “I don’t understand why that person is always giving me the evil eye” etc. In other words, sometimes my idealism or whatever it is, is a bit…unrealistic. I know Christian or not we are all still human and we’re not always going to get it right. But I also want people to strive to be better. If we are set apart from the world and what the world does and thinks, then we should be acting and speaking and thinking differently. We’re not perfecting this any time soon but we should be actively learning how to do this. Not following our “feelings” all the time and instead using the Bible and God’s word and voice to show us what the best course of action is.

I randomly Googled today at work and found an article that talked about this. One of my favorite quotes was:

Part of the problem is that we misunderstand the word love. The kind of love that we need in order to love people we don’t like is agape love, God’s kind of love. Now, agape love is not a feeling. Though we may experience nice feelings as a result of agape love, it does not depend on how we feel or how others feel about us. We can express agape love whether the feelings are present or absent, whether they are good or bad. This kind of love is not a feeling.

[Source: http://bit.ly/1wZIuPB]

I like that.

When I was younger I felt like a lot of people didn’t like me and for many years this made me unhappy with myself because I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I think we all go through this at one time or another. Part of this had to do with events that occurred while I was growing up and being bullied and whatever else, but as I matured I learned that whether people liked me or not, I’m going to make a conscious effort to be good to them anyway. Trust me, I’m no saint. This isn’t a post about how fantastic I am. I’m truly not. Being good to people is sometimes accomplished through gritted teeth. It gets easier in some ways over the years and harder in some ways but ultimately I wanted to follow that old saying “Treat people the way you want to be treated” or as the Bible declares “Love your neighbor as yourself”. I want my actions to be in pursuit of what was right, no matter what the situation was/is or how someone was/is treating me.

All of this to say that, I think it’s okay for people not to like me. But I think if you’re a Christian you don’t have to like someone to love them. The article put it clearly by saying:

“agape love says, “I love you in spite of…”, in spite of the things about you that I may not like. We don’t have to feel guilty about not liking everyone. It’s okay! But we are commanded to love others”.

I think this is really important and something that is near to my heart. I never want my feelings about someone to ever have a negative effect on them or their relationship with God and Christianity as a whole. I’m not the end all be all, but I want to do my part to speak life and kindness into the people I work with, volunteer with, or come into contact with in any way. And sometimes it’s just as simple as deciding to still smile, hug, or talk to people whether they are a fan of you or not.

Father thank you that no matter what people might like or dislike about me that Your love and affection for me is constant. I pray for anyone reading this, who might have felt as I so often did in the past that I wasn’t liked. Help them to realize that the opinions of man are lower than the opinion of God. Heal their broken hearts and help tear down any walls around their hearts that prevent them from connecting to people. I also pray for those who struggle with certain people. We’re only human and it’s not always easy to get along. But I also know that you enable us to love because you first loved us..and you didn’t wait to see if Jesus “liked” us first before calling Him to love us first. I pray that as a community of believers that we make the tough decisions even when our flesh or comfort tells us to avoid what or who we do not like. Remind us daily what Jesus said in Matthew 22 which is to: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them. Amen.

Photo Credit: GeniusQuotes.net